


Of Leaves And Love

by Hekate1308



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: M/M, Post-Canon, South Downs Cottage (Good Omens)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24588433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hekate1308/pseuds/Hekate1308
Summary: The plants knew his voice and his hands, knew his threats and his screams, knew their punishments and their rewards. They had for a long time. As a matter of fact, some of them had been around for so long that they had utterly forgotten wilting was even a possibility. No, the only way to leave was to have a spot or grow unsatisfactorily, for then he would come and execute you.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 88





	Of Leaves And Love

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, we've reached the point where I write from the POV of plants. Enjoy!

The plants knew his voice and his hands, knew his threats and his screams, knew their punishments and their rewards. They had for a long time. As a matter of fact, some of them had been around for so long that they had utterly forgotten wilting was even a possibility. No, the only way to leave was to have a spot or grow unsatisfactorily, for then he would come and execute you.

And yet the plants didn’t hate him. Yes, there was fear, but something like awe too; and they were after all very well cared for, even if he saw fit to scream at them and take some of their comrades away.

All in all, they felt certain that they were faring much better than their friends out there, where no one would spray them or fertilize them or talk to them, even if he mostly just yelled about leaf spots.

And then things changed.

The first time the new one came into their lives, the plants were very confused. It had been a confusing few days. He had been more irritated than ever, had – as they had been able to tell from the vibrations coming from the floor – been moving around quickly and nervously, and they had been wondering if something was going on.

And then the other one, the new one, appeared.

They became aware of two sets of feet making the floor shake ever so slightly; the new one seemed to be somewhat heavier, for his steps fell harder.

They didn’t know what to think. Had he brought on help, to remove more of them? But they had been behaving lately, especially since their latest comrade had fallen…

And then, suddenly, a new voice. “Oh Crowley! I had no idea you had plants!”

This was a tone they were not used to. This new one sounded… happy. Delighted. Friendly.

“Yes, well… it’s just something to pass the time angel. S’ not important” he grumbled.

Crowley. _He_ was called Crowley.

The plants had never heard his name before, and naturally, it made them all the more excited.

And yet it didn’t prepare them for what followed.

“But they are magnificent! Look at you” and he turned to one of them, one of those who had been around the longest. “Aren’t you a pretty plant! Such a lush green –“

“Angel –“

But the new one – angel – kept prattling on and on, telling them how well they were doing and how wonderful they looked.

The plants hadn’t known that was even possible. They had slowly grown to assume that those who cared for their plants simply acted like he – like Crowley – did. The thought that they might be like the new one – like Angel – had never crossed their minds, no matter how careful they had been not to develop leaf spots.

“Angel, you’ll spoil them! You have no idea how difficult it is to get them to –“

“Oh, I can imagine! You must take such good care of them –“

“I – ngk – ugh – you can’t – I –“

“And this one! Oh, I think it’s about to bloom –“

Angel sounded very happy about that fact, and the plant in question quickly decided that it would do everything it could to ensure its blossoms were more colourful than they had ever been.

“Angel, we need to talk.”

A pause. And then angel replied “I know” sounding much more subdued than before. The plants didn’t like that. And surely Crowley didn’t either? He as the one who had brought Angel here, after all, so he must like him to, since he’d never let anyone else into their place. So why would he say something that made this nice creature dad?

The plants didn’t understand him sometimes.

“It’s about Agnes Nutter’s prophecy…”

And their steps slowly faded as they moved to another part of the place.

The plants were _very_ confused. Why would he – Crowley – bring someone else here, someone who actually praised them, and then seemingly chastise him for it before dragging him away? This didn’t make any sense.

Then again, many things there owner had done over the years hadn’t made sense.

The plants decided to be very vigilant, however, just in case.

After that, it was a very long time before Crowley returned, or so it seemed to them, being plants.

(If they had been aware that they needed things like water regularly, some of them might have died; but, as they were never to learn, Crowley had done away with such nonsense a long time ago using a miracle. It was just much more practical than to have to get up and water them every single day).

But, eventually, Crowley returned.

There was a strange spring in his step that the plants had never felt before; still, they straightened their leaves and did their best to ensure their appearance were satisfactory.

And then the most shocking thing happened.

As he misted them, Crowley suddenly remarked, “Well, you have been holding up rather well. Sorry for keeping away for a while; there were some things demanding my attention.”

If the plants had had mouths (or been aware what mouths were to begin with) they would have dropped open.

“And you” Crowley addressed one of their kind who had not been doing so well lately.

The plants relaxed. Now, the unfortunate one would either be strictly reprimanded or taken way, and everything would be normal.

Only for them to be utterly baffled when he continued, “Not doing so well, are you? Ah, let’s give it another week or so. I’m sure you can turn things around.”

(At this point the plant he was speaking to was so shocked that they didn’t even realize they were immediately doing much better than before).

“After all, we want to look our best when Aziraphale drops by, right?”

They didn’t know who Aziraphale was, but apparently, he was very important to Crowley, which immediately made him very important to them. They seemed to be expected to look just as good for him as they did for Crowley, after all.

It quickly transpired, once Aziraphale arrived, that he and Angel were one and the same. The plants didn’t quite understand why one would need more than one name, but their owner sounded happier when he was around, and that meant less threats.

Aziraphale’s visits became a habit.

One day – from the sun shining in, the plants knew it to be morning – Aziraphale walked up to them without Crowley.

“I haven’ checked your progress in a while – oh dear, you’re looking better every time, really! Crowley must put a lot of work into ensuring you’re all well and cared for… He’s still asleep, the dearest demon.”

And he continued to shower them with praise.

The plants decided they had nothing against Aziraphale looking in on them more often, which was a good thing because it kept happening again and again after that.

Now and then – it usually harpooned in the mornings – the plants would feel Crowley come in while Aziraphale was talking to them. The first time, they’d been worried, but then they had heard him chuckle. “Really, angel, you’re spoiling them. Do you know how hard it’ll be to get them to behave after that?”

“But they deserve a few compliments, my dear. They are the prettiest plants I have ever seen.”

“I can think of something else in this flat that’d be worth you looking at…”

“Crowley, of course I think you’re very handsome too.”

“Aw, you think me almost as good-looking as my plants. I am honoured.”

And they both laughed.

The plants had never heard Corley laugh before Aziraphale started to come over, but they decided they liked it better than shouting.

* * *

They quickly learned that Crowley hadn’t completely changed his ways. He still yelled at them, and wouldn’t tolerate leaf spots, but there were far fewer of them who got taken away now – mostly because often Aziraphale was there to plead for them and say things like “But dear, won’t you give them a little more time?” and Crowley always gave in.

Their lot had improved even more since Angel came into all their lives, and that was saying a lot.

And then something strange started happening.

The plants didn’t quite know what to make of it, bit Crowley and Aziraphale started talking an awful lot about cottages and money and something called estate agents.

The plants didn’t know any of those words.

Crowley and Aziraphale seemed excited about all of this, though, and Crowley often wouldn’t scream at them for several days, even if they were gone more and more often.

The plants wondered about the point of these excursions, of course, but it wasn’t like they could ask, and even when they were left alone, there was never a shortage of water or warmth and they could grow in peace.

And then came the day everything changed once again.

Both Crowley and Aziraphale came into the room, which was strange because it was morning and normally that meant that Crowley stayed behind while Aziraphale checked on them.

“Well then” Crowley announced, “Big day. And I expect all of you to keep your leaves up and not to slack just because –“

“Dear, I’m sure they’ll behave. Look how pretty they are right now. A little drive won’t hurt them.”

The plants had no idea what a drive was, but they learned soon enough.

When the first one was picked up by Crowley, many of them started to shake like in the old times. The plant was a good plant – there were no leaf spots, their colour was about as green as they could manage to achieve, and they had always kept growing no matter what, so why were they singled out? Were they all going to be thrown away, destroyed, because of a whim? But Crowley had never been cruel… or at least not _that_ cruel.

And it wasn’t just him. Aziraphale, who had never taken any of them, was leaving with one of their own too. 

So what was going on?

“Oh” Aziraphale had stepped back into the room. “No, no, my dears, you must not give way like that: I assure you that all is well.”

That was easily said, but why did he take another one of them then? And why did Crowley do the same?

The remaining plants became more and more paralyzed with fear, not even able to go on shaking.

So this was the end.

All their efforts had been for nothing.

The last plant, having listened to its neighbour being taken away, wondered why fate had been so cruel as to let _them_ be the last one. They had always, always tried to fulfil Crowley’s expectations; she had been with him for so long now; certainly, that had to count for something?

But they knew it didn’t when Crowley came and took them, away, too.

Only for them to be utterly baffled when they ended up in a space that was much smaller than they were sued to, with all the other plants they had believed lost.

They tried to communicate, but none of them could guess what was going on, especially when they suddenly found themselves moving – not being moved, not being picked up and carried away, but the room in which they were… rolling? They weren’t sure.

They couldn’t say how long I lasted, but suddenly everything stopped, and then Crowley and Aziraphale came and carried them away one by one, although this time, they weren’t so scared.

“There you go” Crowley finally announced when all of them had been pout down in a nice, sunny, warm room, so very much more comfortable than what they were used to, “Welcome to South Downs. Home, sweet home. But remember: no leaf spots. I won’t have any of you grow lazy just because we moved.”

“Dear…”

“Yeah, yeah, angel, I know.”

The plants allowed themselves to relax.

They had a new home, they had all the water they could want, and they had Crowley and Aziraphale now too, it seemed.

All was well.


End file.
